good bye, two thousand nine.

As the end of the year approaches, things are coming to a conclusion. Along with conclusions, new beginnings take part as well. I don't really remember much of the beginning of the year, when I was a silly freshman. Haha. But there are some things I remember that I can recap about. There were a lot of firsts for me in '09. I met new people, had some unforgettable experiences, and of course, tragedies.

First of all, my holidays this year were all unforgettable. Like 4th of July, where Adam, Nathan, Andrew, Ricky, Sandy, and I just biked around Alameda and Bayfarm for the whole day and watched the fireworks at Shoreline. Or Halloween, where I went out until around midnight just walking around with friends. It was my first ever time trick or treating too! Haha. And I can't forget the countless adventures I had over the summer too. Getting close with new people, seeing them every day. Being around them changed me for the better. I owe you guys a lot of appreciation, but for now I'm really glad I met and got to know all of you.

But towards the end, things weren't all peachy and smooth like it was the beginning and middle of the year. Things got complicated, shit went down, but hey. With ups come downs. That's just how life works, right? We all have to deal with some bad things in life though. No one leads a perfect one. Now, I'm ready to say goodbye to a life-changing year. Let 2010 come and throw whatever it has in store straight to my face. I'll be waiting. Haha.

I don't know if I'll have any New Years resolutions, I've never done it before. But I guess I should start. I have no idea how though. What could I change? Hmm. Haha. Whatever. I'll see all of you in the new year. Enjoy your breaks.

masks.

"Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth."

-Oscar Wilde

I love this quote. It probably holds true for most of us. What does it say, first of all? My interpretation of this quote is that when someone is exposed as their bare self, they are afraid to speak their own mind and instead display a facade that probably conforms to what everyone else thinks. But when concealed and protected, they feel the freedom and power to express what they truly think and feel.

I know I can strongly relate to this quote. When I'm just bare, in person, my mind does not speak fully. At most, it speaks half. Maybe it's the fear of what others might think, and I know it's a good thing to just be yourself all the time, but being like that to a bunch of people, I find really hard. For me to be completely myself to a person, I'd have to be comfortable being around that person, knowing that they won't judge. Rest assured though, when it's not in person my mind truly speaks.

Take the internet for example. The internet is just a big mask for us to communicate through. Most people aren't afraid to openly express their opinions and get feedback. Why? Because they'll never know which little speck you are in the world. You can say whatever you want to who you want whenever you want[still following laws, of course.]

I think it's pretty safe to say it holds true for most people too. If we were to pick between standing up and presenting in front of a class or presenting over the internet, I think we'd all choose the internet.

To be honest, I don't really get why. Why are we so afraid to show ourselves to people? To the handful of people that don't fall in this category, consider yourself lucky. Really.