ENDOFTHEYEAR.

Once again I'd like to cover a few topics in a blog post, and not just one. Since this is also the last blog assignment for the year, it seems appropriate to say the least.

First and foremost, I'd like to talk about the experience of blogging. I feel like I'm going to end up saying what I've already said in my other posts when I talked about this, but oh well. Blogging was a great opportunity for me to let out a few /personal/ things that I had going in my head. I've noticed that most of my blog posts were around that area. I can safely say that my statement and restatement of purpose[s] have been fulfilled the way I wanted them to be. My posts centered around what I had in mind, and blogging acted like something I could use to vent them out. And not just me, but other people seemed to have learned and realized a lot of things by blogging too. It's really benefited all of us one way or another. Another thing I like[d] about blogging is that it's really.. unusual and unexpected. I had no idea this Sutherland guy that teaches English was going to use modern technology to assign work for his students when I first came in. Utilizing what most of us are available to to assign work is a brilliant idea and I hope other teachers could follow suit in the future. Going "paper-less" is definitely a good step in an environmental heavy time.

This other half isn't going to be that /enlightening/ but nevertheless this is why I blog. I find it really hard to word but I'll do the best I can.

Crushes are the most pointless things you can ever have in high school. Especially when you don't do anything about it. I've heard of people having crushes for YEARS. I'm surprised at that fact but then at the same time I'm not. Honestly, I've been in that situation before and it's the biggest time waster life will ever give you. The way it works is you find someone you like, start crushing on them, and then become too scared to actually do anything to approach. To show them how you feel and fearing what they're going to say when you tell them the truth. So what ends up happening is you become a locked up bottle thats more than likely never going to open. In my personal situation right now, I'm giving up because it's been a huge waste of time.. and it's taken me this long to realize the better things I could've accomplished if I never, or stopped crushing on the person earlier. Lesson learned.

I would really like to know if people who aren't afraid of rejection are more successful overall. I mean, if you aren't afraid of rejection, that means you aren't that self conscious, right? Having a "I don't give a fuck about what they think" attitude is bound to help, isn't it? I don't know..

rules of love.

We all say its hard to describe love, even though most of us will or already have experienced some kind of love. Personally I think that we each have our own definitions of what love is. But there is also a set of ground rules or guidelines on this.. complicated thing/feeling. First of all, love doesn't come in just a second. There's a difference between love and infatuation and most of the time we don't even know what we're feeling. Infatuation is what we usually encounter first, and love comes in a later time. I'm talking about months and months and even years of dating to know when love has come.

Once you're in it, what do you do? Humans are monogamous animals, so that makes us naturally stick to one significant other for our whole lives. Most things are common sense, such as staying faithful. Resisting temptations is a big part of being a part of a couple. And another thing, your words should be accompanied by actions so you can prove that what you say is true. Cheating on someone is about the worst you can do to your partner. It just shows that you are /bored/ with your partner and want to experience someone new. Its the biggest violation of trust you can reach. Being with someone means you give them the power to break you, and you say that you trust them not to. It's fragile and it definitely is painful, but like most other things, it's an essential part of life.

There's a lot of unwritten rules when it comes to love, but most of the time all you have to use is common sense. Some partners may expect different things but you should be able to adjust while abiding by common sense.

trail mix.

Due to lack of any good ideas or sparks of what I could write about lately, there's always the option for me to blog about.. plain and simple life.

Well, okay maybe not so plain and simple. Life is just a roller coaster all the way through, till the day you die. There's going to be huge drops where you experience a rush of thrill all at once, or for an ongoing time too. And then theres times where you feel like all you're doing is slowly inching up the track, waiting impatiently for that huge drop.

Lately for me it's always been a bit of everything. I'll have a really fun day but then the next few days would be completely boring and shit. I'm not saying that I'm complaining or anything, it is after all better than nothing, period. I sort of feel comfortable saying that my friends and I.. have run out of things to do. It's mostly the same things every time and new ideas don't come very often. With summer approaching, I would really like to change that.

This week has been.. meh. On Monday I was dead tired because Ricky let me borrow his laptop for the night on Sunday and I stayed up all night doing really pointless things. But hey! It wasn't completely a waste of time. I also got some homework done too, haha. I really wish I had a laptop; it'd help me procrastinate on assignments I don't want to do. But if I get that, then I would lose a ton of sleep and I really can't afford to lose anymore the way I am now, haha. Tuesday was one of those days where I was actually too tired to do anything. The lack of sleep from Monday caught up to me and I just felt DEAD the whole entire day. Went home straight after school to get some rest.

Wednesday was quite the turning point. Nothing EVER happens at school so that's one thing I will never write about. After school however, a few friends and I played some basketball Edison school. At first it was pretty normal, but then we ended up playing some adults that were there too. It was a really intense and fun game, and we even ended up winning! That was a great feeling, haha. To know you beat a team of adults that are about two times bigger than you is satisfying. I don't even know how we won, but now we're calling ourselves the dream team. Haha, hilarious.

Thursday was a day where we really didn't do much. For some reason that I'm unaware of a bunch of people went missing and only Andrew and I were left. We settled for going to my house and playing some games. It's fun with him because he's pretty much the only competition I have in a majority of games. From that day emerged an inside joke as well. Jab jab jab.

FRIDAY! I always look forward to this day of the week, who doesn't? I've noticed that complicated plans make me feel like a super sophisticated businessman. Directing and following them, and then seeing it all come together feels good too. Haha. 'Frisbee' isn't really frisbee anymore though. We haven't played Ultimate in a hellllla long time. All we do now is basketball and socialize. And more recently, wrestling. I don't wanna get into too much detail with that, haha.

ramblings.

It’s almost the end of the school year. As it gets closer and closer everything gets just a wee bit faster and harder. Teachers try to cram in material that they somehow “forgot” to teach and all the students want is for everything to be over and relax the days away. Lots of tests come up along with final exams and AP tests as well. The last stretch of school is hard for everyone, but in the end it’s always rewarding.

I think of the school year as being divided into at least three periods of time. In the beginning, everyone has to get accustomed to being in school again because of the fun times over the summer. They almost always forget everything they learned, too. I know I do for sure. Past the beginning and into the middle, it’s a long stage of chill assignments. The assignments are nothing too hard, nothing too easy. It’s just right. This is usually the second and third quarters. The end, which in this case is now, is a rapid rush of information. Big end of the year projects to “apply what you learned” comes as often as the sun.

Moving on from a general point of view on things, I’d like to share my own personal experience with this school year. Everything I said up there applies to me too, of course. In the beginning I forgot all the material I learned in freshman year. The reviews of last year’s stuff and the like that teachers gave me was almost perfect to get back in the rhythm. As it hit second and third quarters it just felt a bit… numb. It was when Sutherland introduced the concept of life being on autopilot. That was what it felt like. School days were monotonous and lackluster. It’s the part I hate the most.

Sometimes I still haven’t accepted the fact that MY freshman year has already passed. I find it hard to believe that I am currently a sophomore at times. And already, I’m turning into a junior in high school. Life goes by so fast it’s unbelievable. I really want to cherish these years and make them something I would remember at least twenty years later.

I don’t know if it’s a bad thing that I have no idea what my dreams or passions are after high school. It feels like I have a large variety of careers I could pursue, but not knowing what I like or am passionate about makes it a lot harder. To connect with my earlier blog post, I know that I have to know what I like to do in order for me to get a career that I would actually enjoy. The path to at the least a satisfactory future is pretty simple, but getting started is what I’m having trouble with. I hope to have everything figured out by at least the end of junior year and I could spend my senior year preparing for whatever I’ve decided.